28 March 2012

Thought for the Day #2

You know your future will never be dull when you have to install your third baby gate to corral your 1 year old explorer.

25 March 2012

Bad Dream

When I became a SAHD, I tried to come up with plans for everything. That way, there would be no surprises. There was only one situation I couldn't figure out a plan for. Only one thing gave me the willies. That everyone would get sick at the same time. That was my nightmare scenario.

And now I know its a whole lot worse than I imagined. Hellish would be the most appropriate word, I believe.

It all started three weeks ago when Little Man got an upper respiratory infection, which he promptly passed to his sister and his mother. I, praise God, escaped - for awhile. For weeks, the three of them would recuperate, only to fall sick again a few days later. It finally hit me in a milder form after two weeks, but I recovered. Until this morning. Now I'm in isolation in my bedroom with a full blown highly contagious case. Another twelve hours and I should be able to get out. Sweetheart and I are bound and determined this crud will not spread again.

This has been an eye opener. We weren't prepared for this kind of illness to bounce around the house. Especially for so long. It brings out my inner prepper. So I'm laying her at 4:30 in the morning making lists of areas we fell short in. Not enough soft Kleenex, so the boy screams bloody murder if you try to wipe his nose. And our habit is to have a home cooked breakfast, which is hard when you wake up and can't see straight from the pain. So I think we'll add easy breakfast options to our repertoire. There are a few other things I've thought of, but I sure hope they won't be needed.

All told, I think this has been my worst month as a parent. With everyone whiny and crabby from being sick and tired - oh, so tired - my patience and optimism went the way of the Dodo. Especially since Princess was the least hard hit and couldn't understand why she couldn't go to the park or on bike rides. She wasn't able to burn off energy much and that made it tortuous for everyone.

I learned quite a lot from this experience. I found out that if I can manage to put on a smile - regardless of how I feel - my family will generally respond in kind. And I learned that when they don't, a "restart" often helps. I put them back to bed and tell them to stay there until they can get back up happy. Works about 75% of the time, even for Sweetheart! Oh fellas, you want to see the full range of emotional stares from your wife and hear just how hard she can stomp through the house? Tell her to go "restart" her attitude and that its not up to debate. But it generally works.

Course then she'll do it to you as well, but it works for Dads, too.

17 March 2012

The Greatest Idea Ever!

I had a dream! A dream in which I was a gazillionaire. A dream in which I had solved the world's energy crisis. All by the simplest, but greatest idea ever hit upon by man.

Grandiose statements you say? Melodramatic? Oh nay! I say truly I can free up huge quantities of crude oil for use as fuel. The answer is so clear. Much of the oil we pump is turned into lubricants. Engine oil, grease, Vaseline, etc. How much oil could be saved if we had a way to replace all lubricants?

And I don't speak of complex chemical concoctions dangerous to the environment. Oh no, my friends! My solution is environmentally friendly and all natural. It is replenishable and will never wear out. The perfect lubricant.

Sounds to good to be true, you say? Perhaps the product of the mind of a mind scientist?

Nay, I say the answer is clear. The solution to the energy crisis is...

Baby Juice!

Just imagine! Have you ever experienced anything slicker, anything slimier, than the concoction produced when a teething, drooling, crying baby gets sick and begins to produce immense volumes of snot! When the drool and the tears and the snot gets mixed together through the action of said baby chewing on his hand and rubbing his face, the mixture produced is so powerful in its sliminess that you could undoubtedly cover an elephant with it and successfully shove said elephant through a keyhole. I mean this stuff is potent!

And I can personally attest to it's lasting power, as that little fellow has been sick with a viral bug for almost three weeks and everything he touches is covered by the stuff. Since the Princess got sick too, and began producing her own slightly less potent mixture of gunk, I'm pretty sure that the only way to rid my home of slime is to burn it down. Although, I'm not sure that would work because I'm pretty sure Baby Juice would be fireproof. Hmm! Maybe it can be added to insulation as well. Who needs asbestos when you have all natural Baby Juice, the wonder material! (Patent Pending)

Sheer genius, if I do say so myself.

08 March 2012

Thought for the Day #1

Parents get so few opportunities to enjoy a relaxing restaurant meal. You just have to drag the kids out and try to ignore their non-dangerous antics enough to have a delightful conversation while keeping an eye open for the knives. You know you've had an enjoyable evening when the toddler has guacamole in his hair and the preschooler is panting from running around the table and you still walk out of the restaurant with big smiles on your faces and your hands entwined.

05 March 2012

A Boy & His Dog

Is there anything more heartwarming than a boy and his dog?

Or more nostalgic? Kind of brings to mind a Rockwell scene of yesteryear.

Of course, it is a bit gross when the boy gives the dog a bite and then takes a bite himself, but whatcha gonna do? And Furball has shared so many meals that the vet says he needs to lose weight. But try telling them that. A boy and his dog will simply not be separated.

02 March 2012

Parenting Joy

With me Sweetheart out of town for the last week, things have been rough around here. Little Man has been refusing to drink, Princess has been throwing tantrums and destroying things to try to get attention, and the Furball - well, that little critter has just been going nuts looking for Mommy.

And Daddy...well, let's just say there have been moments of wondering if I'm actually cut out for Daddyhood. Some times I feel like I'm just banging my head up against a wall. Especially with Princess. I try to set a good example, but it seems she just does the exact opposite.

And then, one of those moments when your offspring suddenly, with no warning, does something to make your heart swell with pride and reassure you that you are actually making an impression and that your beloved child is on the way to being a good person.

Sweetheart and I hate throwing yard sales, we like the no muss, no fuss technique of donating gently used things to our local charities. Well between Christmas and birthday presents and kids growth, we have been taking big loads of toys and clothes to donate. and we've helped out a local family that lost everything in a fire by giving them our extra housewares. And of course, we involved Princess in the decisions of which toys and such to donate. But I didn't think the reasoning of it all had stuck with her.

Until we were sitting down for lunch today and my little Princess looked up to the top of the refrigerator and saw the spare coffee maker up there on standby for the frequent times when I put too much water in my wonderful full featured coffee maker - which then stops working until it dries out. She looked over to the counter and saw the other coffee maker and proceeded to tell me we needed to give one of them away. She said, "Daddy, we can't let someone out there have no coffee maker when we have two. It's not right, Daddy. We need to donate it today!"

Oh my goodness, I'm not just banging my head against that little wall! She's learning and putting our lessons to use. Wow, that's a great feeling of affirmation after an exhausting week of tantrums and sleepless nights!

Of course, the downside of it is that now I'm stuck having to donate my spare coffee maker. Ah well, the joys of parenting are multi-faceted.