17 March 2012

The Greatest Idea Ever!

I had a dream! A dream in which I was a gazillionaire. A dream in which I had solved the world's energy crisis. All by the simplest, but greatest idea ever hit upon by man.

Grandiose statements you say? Melodramatic? Oh nay! I say truly I can free up huge quantities of crude oil for use as fuel. The answer is so clear. Much of the oil we pump is turned into lubricants. Engine oil, grease, Vaseline, etc. How much oil could be saved if we had a way to replace all lubricants?

And I don't speak of complex chemical concoctions dangerous to the environment. Oh no, my friends! My solution is environmentally friendly and all natural. It is replenishable and will never wear out. The perfect lubricant.

Sounds to good to be true, you say? Perhaps the product of the mind of a mind scientist?

Nay, I say the answer is clear. The solution to the energy crisis is...

Baby Juice!

Just imagine! Have you ever experienced anything slicker, anything slimier, than the concoction produced when a teething, drooling, crying baby gets sick and begins to produce immense volumes of snot! When the drool and the tears and the snot gets mixed together through the action of said baby chewing on his hand and rubbing his face, the mixture produced is so powerful in its sliminess that you could undoubtedly cover an elephant with it and successfully shove said elephant through a keyhole. I mean this stuff is potent!

And I can personally attest to it's lasting power, as that little fellow has been sick with a viral bug for almost three weeks and everything he touches is covered by the stuff. Since the Princess got sick too, and began producing her own slightly less potent mixture of gunk, I'm pretty sure that the only way to rid my home of slime is to burn it down. Although, I'm not sure that would work because I'm pretty sure Baby Juice would be fireproof. Hmm! Maybe it can be added to insulation as well. Who needs asbestos when you have all natural Baby Juice, the wonder material! (Patent Pending)

Sheer genius, if I do say so myself.