27 April 2012

Ah, Consciousness...How I Miss Thee!

As I rode in the car, as a passenger (oh, the indignity), trying to explain to the Princess for the fortieth time why exactly Mommy was making Daddy go to the hospital, I remember thinking, the next time I get dizzy from coughing I'm gonna keep my mouth shut. Or at least that's what I had intended to be thinking. What actually passed through my head was something more akin to, "The next time I ge.............Why is she screaming at me and shaking my shoulder, doesn't she know she's driving?" Yep. I spent today passing out. Or at least a few hours of it. The rest of the time, I've been high on codiene and focusing very, very hard on not coughing. Ah, consciousness. Who knew you could be blasted away by a cough.

The day started out well. I was toodling around the house, clearing up my todo list, shaking off a bad bout of sinus infection. Or was I? I had a lingering cough, but no big deal, right. Oh my. I started coughing right before lunch and suddenly got dizzy. Sweetheart saw and asked. I couldn't lie. And then I started feeling really strange. Kind of disconnected. Next thing I know, I'm passing out in the car.

I now have the misfortune of knowing what a vasovagal response is, and how easily it can be triggered. I also know that if you're walking into an emergency room and you start coughing, then collapse into a pile of loose fat, you get to pee in a bottle in your hospital bed. Because they won't let your feet touch the floor again until you are off their property. I had a pretty little bracelet that said "FALL RISK" and they wouldn't let me even sit up on my own. You know how hard it is to lay in bed and pee in a jug? Imagine if your wife is standing there cheering you on while your daughter is pouting because she can't watch and your son is pulling the curtain open any time he hears someone walk by. Oh, it doesn't work, let me tell ya! I had to send the family away and appeal to the manly sympathy of a passing male nurse to be allowed some dignity. He snuck the rail down and let me throw my legs over so I could at least sit up a little and see the danged jug!

What a day! Sweetheart said I passed out about twenty times in just a couple of hours. It's a very unpleasant experience. And, of course, the CT scan, X-rays, ECGs and bloodwork weren't all that pleasant either. Come to find out I have bronchitis and for some unknown reason, my coughing has begun triggering a vasovagal response. So I cough, I hit the floor.

Hmm? Anyone know where I can buy cough syrup by the gallon?