27 September 2012

Diversionary Tactics


I tell ya - the Navy SEALs could learn something from my kids about the element of surprise and diversionary tactics on the battlefield. These two work together to engage the enemy (me) and defeat every maneuver. They coordinate their actions and have perfect timing.

Today, my sweet, adorable little girl was practicing her writing and excitedly brought over her work to show me how well she was doing. I should have known. She was the diversion.

Once she had successfully distracted my attention, the boy - exhibiting a level of deviousness attainable only by a one year old - snuck into my blind spot.

The tactic worked perfectly.

While I was naively praising my daughter's writing attempts, the boy grabbed the kitchen junk drawer directly behind me and pulled with all his might. I heard a million tiny crashes as markers, keys, paperclips and myriad hair clips and rubber bands bounced around the kitchen.

Whipping around, I saw the boy exulting in his handiwork, holding the crayon which was the tactical objective for their operation.

Being bigger and stronger, I grabbed the little rascal and incarcerated him in the brig (his play yard) as a legitimate prisoner of war. The little Mata Hari was given parole to clean up the mess.

Victorious, I looked at the boy standing calmly behind the prison walls. I had won the battle.

But as I saw the smirk on his face and I got the distinctive feeling that the victory is not truly mine. I may have won this battle, but I think I might lose the war.