26 January 2013

I Want Diapers, Too

I believe I want me some diapers.

Not for the boy, mind you - for myself.

Now, don't fall off your chair yet. And be careful. Try not to blow coffee out your nose. Hear me out now.

See, just about every man over 40 knows that their comfy sleep will be broken at least once a night by the need to pee. It's really annoying.

So, as I was making my trek across the room just now, trying to avoid stepping on Furball or any Lego land mines the kids might have snuck in, I thought to myself, "Little Man has it made! He can sleep right through the call off the waterfall."

And that's when it hit me - I want a diaper, too!

Shoot, all that boy has to do is let it rip, and leave it to us to change his 20 pound diaper in the morning. Why can't I enjoy that kind of blissful freedom? The freedom to wake up at oh dark thirty and think to myself, "The heck with stumbling all the way to the toilet! Aaaaaahhhhhh!" And then, back to sweet slumber!


I wonder if they make size 54 Huggies?

Ooh - more importantly, I wonder if Sweetheart would change me in the morning?